Apparently it's not a good idea to do computer work on a carpet floor...

This Christmas, my wife announced that she had run out of ideas for gifts to get me, so she asked me if there was anything else that I wanted.

Now there were plenty of things that I wanted: a HDTV, a XBox 360, a new CD player for my car, a snow blower, Sirius satellite radio, a new computer, a recordable DVD player for the living room, etc, but she was thinking about the $50 range. The only thing I could think of was a new case for my computer.

I had originally bought a computer in 1997 when I was in graduate school, which I didn't finish because I managed to find a new career path that suited me. Eventually, the computer ended up getting slower and slower because the original configuration was:

Pentium 333 megahertz processor
8 meg video card
8 gig hard drive
128 megs of RAM

It suited its purpose for a while, but as all computers, it had to be upgraded. I upgraded to an Intel Celeron 1.7 Gig processor, 32 meg video card and 512 megs of RAM.

What I should have realized then and should have upgraded back then was the case. By the time I upgraded 3 years ago, the case's power supply was five-years-old. Plus, the case itself was small and not built for the ventilation required for today's computers.

You see my non-technical friends (if anyone actually reads this), computers need ventilation or they will burn up. Today's processors have fans strapped to them to keep them cool. Power supplies have their own fans. Even the video cards have fans strapped to them to keep them from melting down.

Today's computer cases are bigger than they need to be for ventilation purposes. They even have more open vent ports so that you can put nifty fans in them for more ventilation.

After the upgrade 3 years ago, my computer have perpetually acted like it's been stricken with malaria. One minute it'll feel cool to the touch and the next minute it's burning up. I hated leaving the computer on for fear that it would burn up while I wasn't home.

So that's what was on my mind when my wife asked me what I wanted. I wanted a new case for the computer that came with a new power supply.

She asked, "A computer case?" in that skeptical wife tone.

After quickly explaining the above reasoning, which she was probably zoning out, she said in an even more skeptical tone, "All right."

I convinced her that I wanted it done that day, so off we headed to DIT computers. I picked a nice black one that had easy remove sides. I couldn't wait to get it home to move my computer from one case to another. I had also bought a new video card with some money I had been hoarding, so I was even more anxious to try out some games that my computer had some trouble playing. I figured the new video card would help.

I opened the computer on my coffee table in the living room of my apartment and laid it down on its side on the carpet...

Now let me explain something...

I've tinkered with my computer quite a few times either cleaning it out or installing a new hardrive or a sound card that's gone bad and every time that I've done it, I would do it on the bar in my living room that had a nice hard stone tile floor.

This is an ideal location if you're in the house. You want a work area that has no carpet or anything that will cause static electricity. According to Webopedia, circuitry to on a computer component can be damaged by as little as 10 volts, but the human body can only perceive it when it's hit 1500 volts. They also suggest working on an anti-static mat.

I did not...

I had even been warned about this the first time I ever put in a new computer component. My sound was really bad when the computer first came because they were using a real crappy internal sound chip on the motherboard. I had the computer company send a sound card to fix the problem, but I didn't really know how to put one in. My friend from work, Kevin, showed me how to do it.

One of the first things that he told me to do was to make sure that I avoided static electricity. He suggested that if I was to work on my computer on carpet would be to touch something else prior to touching my computer components.

He cited one example in which a guy he was helping over the phone had his new RAM ready to install when he heard a "BZZT!" The guy had shocked the RAM, which was now dead.




I had heard about the dangers but much like I had never believed my parents when they told me that every time I turned the lights on and off that it cost a quarter or much in the way that conservatives dismiss the supposed dangers of global warming, I really didn't comprehend the severity of the problem.

So when I had my motherboard and other components laying on the carpet while I moved them from one case to another, it's a small miracle that I didn't fry everything.

I was trying to work on the floor undisturbed, but seeing as how my wife was at work and I had to watch my four-year-old daughter, Julia, it was hard to remain undisturbed. She was poking in and around the computer and even touching things at some points in the day. Several times, she jumped on my back while I was kneeling over the computer.

I felt the familiar "BZZZT!" of static electricity. And this happened several times.

I didn't think much about it, but I did when, after moving everything to the new box and then starting up the new computer box, the fans whirred, but nothing else happened. Nothing on the monitor. No familiar beep from the computer BIOS. Nothing.

I started to panic a little. I opened the box and reseeded everything on the motherboard. Nothing. I checked every power cable. Nothing. I tried the old video card. Nothing. I even tried running off the motherboard's video port. Nothing.

So I took it back to the computer store and had them run a computer diagnostic, which was going to take 5 to 7 business days before they even got to it.

Therefore, I had to suffer in guilt and panic for more than a week while I fretted about what could be wrong with the computer. I even sought help from a computer tech help forum that I frequent. At first I was a little vague in my details because I didn't think where I put the computer case together was relevant. Finally, when I disclosed the charges from my daughter and the putting the computer together on the carpet, I got this reply.

"LMAO! That motherboard is toast!!"

So in the end, it WAS the motherboard. I ended up getting a new motherboard/processor combination, which is really twisting my arm...