Kelly Clarkson is the devil...

Originally posted on 04/26/05, but I'm reposting here...

Bill came over one Sunday for some odd reason that I can't really remember. That's not important. What is important is that we were listening to the radio at the time. The Kelly Clarkson song, "Since You've Been Gone" came on the radio. If you don't know, Kelly Clarkson was the first winner of American Idol and this is the second single off of her second album, Breakaway.

So we were talking about how the song isn't bad and kind of catchy when Bill asks, "Hey, have you seen the video for this song?"

If you haven't seen the video for "Since You've Been Gone", which if you’re someone like my Mom, then I can perfectly understand why you haven't, the premise of the video is that Kelly Clarkson walks around her ex-boyfriend's apartment while cutting up clothes, destroying things and just generally trashing the place. As she leaves, the boyfriend walks up to the apartment with his new girlfriend all none the wiser that Kelly has just committed several felonies such as breaking and entering and vandalism.

"Yeah, I've seen it," I say. "What about it?"

"Don't you think it sets a bad example?"

"In what way?" I ask.

"She destroys stuff in her ex-boyfriends apartment and leaves."

"And?" I ask.

"It sets a bad example because kids may think that this type of behavior is OK."

I kind of smirk and say, "Yeah, I know what you mean because there's this video where Avril Lavigne leaves painted marks all over town, which is vandalism, and they have an impromptu concert in the middle of a busy intersection, which is disturbing the peace."

"Oh, shut up!" Bill yells. "You always do this!"

"Do what?"

"You twist things I say!"

"Because I don't think that what you just said makes sense," I say. "It's just a video, Bill. It's not like kids are going to watch it and copy it."

"They might."

I thought about it a minute and thought about stopping the conversation and keeping quiet. I couldn't help myself. I had to keep this going.

"That's true," I said. "There's this video by Twisted Sister where the father is blown out the window by a guitar rock chord..."

"Oh shuuut up!" Bill exclaims with rolled eyes.

"Bob!" my wife, Laura, yells from the kitchen.

"turns into Dee Snyder," I continue, "and drags his father down the stairs by his hair."

"You think that you're funny, but your not," Laura says.

"Oh come one!" I exclaim. "You have to admit that it's funny!"

Laura says, "This is funny for one person, you."

Bill says, "You really are reaching."

"Reaching! You're the one that's insisting that Kelly Clarkson's corrupting the youths of America."

"Keep reaching!" he shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

Bill sighs, "I can see that this is going to end up on your blog."

"Damn right it's ending up on my blog! It's a stupid argument."

Nothing is said for a minute. I'm sitting there with a smirk on my face. I'm trying to think of a good comeback. Bill's scowling because he knows that I'm trying to think of a good comeback.

I raise my finger to speak. Bill sighs again. "There's another video by Avril Lavigne..."

Laura yells from the kitchen, "Robert! Let it go!"

"In which she walks down the street..."

"You just can't help yourself," Bill says with distaste.

"No I can't," I laugh and finish quickly, "and then shoves a guy in a bar...

"Robert!" Laura yells again and glares.

I laugh and say, "I'm done."

"Good." Bill says.

Bill leaves and I ask Laura, "You can't possibly agree with him can you?"

"No, but I just didn't want hear you two argue. It wasn't worth arguing over."

"It was funny," I said.

"Only to you," she says. I snicker.

Hours later, I call Bill up on his cell phone and say, "Bill, there's this one video by Jane's Addiction called "Been Caught Stealing where they opening mock the laws against shoplifting and encourage people to steal. It sets a bad example."

Bill sighs and asks, "It took you all day to come up with that lame comeback?"

"Pretty much," I chuckled.

Thank God the Amazing Race - Family Edition is over... Karma wins again...

I posted about the Weaver family from the Amazing Race - Family Edition last week here. They were the family that lost their Dad to a racetrack accident and then proceeded to go all crazy with their faith. In this season of the Amazing Race, they made sure to ask God for guidance for everything from finding a road sign to finding a red coffee bean in a large pile of other coffee beans.

It's not just the religious thing that bothers me, it's their moral superiority. It'd be one thing if they were nice to everybody in the race and then everybody hated them, but it wasn't that by a long shot. They were the team that didn't speak to any other team, which alienated them from everybody else.

Well, Tuesday night, they crowned a team champions of the Amazing Race and thank heaven it wasn't the Weavers. I feel for their loss, but again, their attitudes were horrible.

You see, the Amazing Race is a game where karma plays a big role in who wins. In all of their seasons (I think they're up to 10), the team that is ultra competitive, but are major pricks to everyone end up not winning the game.

There are always teams that I love to hate during the Amazing Race and they have never one the game. It's a fact. Don't dispute it. Look it up. I'm not wrong.

Last year, they had Rob and Amber from Survivor in the game. From the start, they were the team that messed with everyone. Rob bribed security guards not to give information in airports. Rob bribed cab drivers to not wait for teams. He messed with people's heads at airports. During one leg, one team's car overturned in a desert stretch, seriously injuring that team's cameraman. Every team stopped to either help or ask if they were OK except for Rob and Amber. They just drove on by. So it was of no surprise to me that on the final leg, when he and Amber got a flight ahead of everyone else to the final destination, another team got on the plane even when the jetway was taken away. They ended up losing. Karma.

The previous season to that, there was a former Miss Texas and her asshole boyfriend, who were again ultra competitive and nice to nobody. The boyfriend sneered at locals at every turn and almost got himself arrested when he refused to pay a cab driver in one country. The night before the final flight, the team that ended up winning came in way later to the airport than the other two teams. They found out that the flight that Miss Texas and boyfriend were on was delayed, which made a later flight the early flight. When the boyfriend found this out at the last minute, he attempted to get on the flight, but since he had already checked his bags at the counter on the original flight (on a different airline), they were not allowed to change flights. End result: the team that won gets to the final destination 20 minutes earlier and wins handily. I'm telling you, Karma.

Fast forward to Tuesday night, I just knew the Weavers were in for a date with Karma. They started the first hour way ahead of everyone else until they get to a challenge that involved them driving a golf cart into a stadium by way of the only entrance. They took forever finding the entrance and then fail to find the clue tacked to the back of one of the 55,000 indoor seats until hours later, which allowed the other teams to catch up. Rebecca, the 19-year-old put it very eliquently when she described her frustration.

"This is stupid..." (think of a bored teenager)

"I don't need to find this stupid clue. I've done more important things in my life. This is just stupid..." (think bored with a sneer)

They eventually find the clue, but it's for the last charter flight, which gives the other two teams a little lead. Karma finally caught up and the team that I was rooting for, the Linz family, finally won. You see, they were mostly positive. They never complained about what they were doing, where they were, or how they were doing it. I'm telling you, it's karma. That why I love the Amazing Race (except for this disappointing season of North America travel instead of world-wide, multi-continent travel). It's the team's that remain positive and are at least friendly to other teams or locals that win.

Time for a name change...

We started this site originally as 3 Point 5 Stars because we couldn't think of a better name and because Bill suggested it. Bill thought that it was a good idea because he was always intrigued by how unless something is universally hated, it will average out to 3.5 stars on Amazon.com because fans that are mad at the bad reviews will pump it up to off set the bad reviews. This is the problem with the review system. People sometimes try to vote honestly by giving something they liked, but had a few problems with just four stars, but then others who haven't even honestly listened or watched the title in question will give it just one star.

For example, the newest Ann Coulter or Al Franken book will get five stars from their fans to offset the one star reviews posted by people that openly haven't read the book, but "don't have to to know that it sucks!" or from people that skimmed it while in the airport bookstore and therefore are qualified to comment on the whole book.

That premise is still a basis on some of our views, but I thought it pigeonholed the site, so we're changing it to something equally as kind of stupid, Pop Vultures. I guess it's a commentary on how we all feed on the remains of Pop Culture.

Amazon, I thought you knew me...

by Bill the Evil Twin

I have to admit it. I am kind of addicted to amazon.com. Patton Oswalt has a bit about how much time you can waste on the internet just by going by whatever thought comes across your mind. Amazon can kind of be that way since you can pretty much find anything on this site. One cool thing is that it tells you what you might like if you bought something recently. For example, if you bought something by Interpol, it will recommend you Bloc Party or Franz Ferdinand.

This can be somewhat reminiscent of a friend who lends you something you might like based on what you own. Friends who have a vast knowledge of music are good to have. Unfortunately, I know more about music than all of my friends combined, so Amazon has to suffice as my best friend, but like a friend Amazon is often not smart, is clueless and doesnÕt take a hint.

When I first starting buying stuff off of Amazon, I was recommended things that I did buy and enjoy and stuff that I didnÕt which is why you have to really look at the reviews closely. Like a friend, Amazon notices what you buy and then recommends things, unfortunately, it doesn't learn. Here are some examples.

My brother and I do this contest with friends of ours. Every year, like nerd saplings, we spring forth and try to guess what the blockbusters of the summer are going to be and rank them. At the end of the summer, the person who guessed correctly wins DVDs from each member in the pool. Unfortunately, I have not won anything in the years we have been playing. This might be a good thing since it may mean that I'm not a movie geek. At least I hope I'm not, but I have come close to winning it, so still could be a full fledged geek.

Anyway, one summer when I lost, the winner wanted "The Brood" on DVD. If you haven't seen "The Brood", well it's lovely film from David Cronenberg which I barely remember so here's what one Amazon review said about it:
"To synopsis the plot: Frank Carveth's estranged wife is crazy, and undergoing unconventional therapy at her psychiatrist's controversial institute. Suspecting her of abusing their daughter, he removes her from his wife's care, to the strenuous objections of her shrink. Several people connected to wifey's emotionally crippling past begin to show up dead, and Carveth finds himself fighting to save his daughter from her crazy mother's 'other' set of kids"

Well, I bought it and sent it to the "winner" of the movie pool. After that, my friend Amazon started suggesting other equally disturbing horror movies, which means EVERY disturbing horror movie ever made. This went on for months and finally, I figured out how to tell Amazon, "Look. Just because I bought "The Brood" doesn't mean that I want to own every sick horror movie ever made." All I had to do was go into "Improve your recommendations". Amazon keeps track of everything I buy and there is a little check mark that says, "Use for my recommendations." So, by me checking that box, it's like Amazon saying to me, "Sorry bro, my bad. Won't happen again." This is all fine and dandy, but it still won't learn.

I bought two books on building fences because I was building a fence. Well, for months, Amazon recommended me every fence book I didn't happen to buy. How many fence books do you think I need? I had to check the box again.

Now for horror movies or fence building, this checking the box thing is very good, but for music it's a whole new ball game. Amazon knows to recommend popular things, but I wish Amazon would recommend lesser known artists.

When you first start buying things off of Amazon, it doesn't know a damn thing about you, but it does a pretty good job, but if you're like me and own a lot of CDs and try to help Amazon out by constantly updating your recommendations, you really start to mess things up.

For example, Amazon will bring up a list of 15 things per page that you might like. At the bottom of each thing, it says, "Why recommended? Because you bought (such and such)." This is all fine and good, but like The Brood, just because I bought that one thing does not mean I want to buy EVERYTHING that sounds like that artists.

One time, I bought the Nirvana box set. So, Amazon started recommending other bands that I might enjoy, like Alice in Chains. Alice in Chains - "Dirt" is listed. Now I could tell Amazon that I do own it and yes I do like it, but I don't really want to rate it, so I "lie" and click "Not Interested". The page updates and Amazon reveals:
Alice in Chains - "Alice in Chains"
Not Interested
Alice in Chains - "Jar of Flies"
Not Interested
Alice in Chains - "Face Lift"

This happens all the time. My favorite though is when it recommends something based on one band of a certain genre I might like. Namely Third Eye Blind. I like them. I think they are a good band for pop. It could be a guilty pleasure, but they are a good band in my opinion and I don't try to force it on to anybody.

So Amazon goes, "Hmm...Third Eye Blind huh? How about Vertical Horizon? Do you like the album that has the one hit wonder, 'Everything She Wants'?"

"Sorry, I am Non Interested"

Page updates

"Well, how about their follow album that yielded no hits and no one bought? How about that?"

"Look, if I didn't want the popular album. Why would I want the other one?"

"Sorry man. How about Three Doors Down? They kind of sound like Third Eye Blind, right?"

Amazon is an annoying little friend and I wish it would "learn" from my personal choices, but I sometimes feel that the day that happens, I will be trying to please the computer instead of the other way around.

Jesus busy helping the Weavers...

I've always loved the Amazing Race. Unlike other reality shows in which the contestants sit around and scheme, the Amazing Race's contestants actual do things. They fly around the world in pairs of twos, finding clue locations and overcoming clue obstacles to get the next clue before the pit stop at the end of each leg. It's pretty compelling TV because you have people relying on faith, luck and ingenuity in order to remain in the race. There are no vote offs and alliances are easily shattered as teams that intend to stick together end up giving up as soon as one team slows them down. Plus, it's a chance for personalities to shine and personalities to shame. Some teams take the race in stride, appreciate the diverse locations and learn from the experience. Other teams seem to fall into that category of people that bitch about every other team, bitch about every location and bitch about their position in the race. I love it.

This year, CBS tried to change things up by having a family edition of the Amazing Race. For the first time, they have fielded teams of four and kids. As a result, the producers have chosen to keep the main race in the United States with a lone trip to Central America as the overseas trip. I thought it would be neat for people to jaunt around the United States, but in the end, it's just not compelling. Plus, having parents scream at their kids just is plain disturbing. I ended up feeling sorry for the kids whose dumb as parents tell them the wrong way to drive and then blame them for going the wrong way.

There are a variety of teams that you love to hate for a variety of reasons:

• There was the New York area family that spent most of their time screaming at each other.
• There was the family with two young kids.
• There was the family of sisters that all seemed to be giggling with each other one minute and then hating each other the next
• There was even a family with a step mom who spent a lot of her time yelling at her step kids to stop fraternizing with other teams, which was met with "She's such a bitch" comments by the son.
  

Then, there was/is (as of the last show), the Weaver family.

They are a family of a Mom, two daughters and a young son from Florida that have found God more in their lives after the Dad was killed on a racetrack. I can see why they took to religion in a time of crisis. Some people need faith in their lives to make sense of everything, but these people have taken direction from God and elevated it in a new direction.

From the very start of the race, I knew I was in for a long season when they get their first clue and have to drive somewhere.

"Dear Lord, please give us direction."
"Jesus, please help us find the clue box."
"Jesus, help us find the road sign."

These were just some of many examples of guidance they were searching for. I'm not religious by a long shot, but I would like to think that if I was, I would pray for something more substantial than clue boxes or road signs. While I realize that you could say that maybe God wants them to win the million dollar prize, I would like to think that God has more important things on his mind. That would be a crappy message: "Your father died so that you may win a million dollars on a reality TV show."

Which reminds me, seeing as their father died on a race track, they freaked out when they had to go to a race track for a clue. Then they freaked out more when they had to go to the track itself and ride a tandem bike around the track. On another leg of the show, they ended up going to a (gasp!) go-cart track, to which the kids freaked out again. The Mom ended up doing the go-cart challenge and they moved on. I can understand pain from having a relative die, but come on people! It's just a go-cart track! It's not as if they asked you to drive an actual race car while trying to dodge pit crew workers on the track. It's called facing your fears and it makes you a stronger person.

What absolutely kills me about the Weavers is their total disdain for the other teams. They claim to be the one team that is trying to live a respectful, Christian life, but since I've been watching, they've been the team that has complained about everything. One team's member was trying to console the daughters about how hard it must be to do the race track challenge and when that person walked away, the Weaver daughter murmured, "I hate them! They're so fake!"

Being as they're from Florida, I'm sure they're shocked that there are actually states that aren't perpetually green. When they made it to Utah, they made fun of the surroundings (I've been there. While I don't want to move there, it was a nice blend of desert and mountains.). The young son intoned that when God was making the world that "God must have skipped Utah." One of the daughters complained that if she ever met someone from Utah, they'd say, "I feel so sorry for you!"

Later in that race, they pass a bike rider on a mountain. The son, Rolly, leans out the window and says, "You think you're Lance Armstrong, but you're not!" Oh. Ha Ha.

Every week for the past several weeks, we've seen the snotty Weavers bemoan why no one likes them at the end of the show? Could it possibly your holier-than-thou attitude? I'm thinking yes.