Bill gays it up at Brokeback Mountain...

By Bill The Evil Twin

I admit it. I was gay after seeing Brokeback Mountain over the weekend. While watching this movie about two cowboys falling in love with each other, a feeling stirred inside me. I was quite gay or how do you say, “happy” after seeing this movie.

Ok. That was rather lame, but I was glad I saw the movie, but not because it was a good movie. It was. No, I was glad I saw the movie because I finally got to see the quote that everybody and their pastor has been quoting. You know the one: the “I wish I could quit you.” quote. This quote was almost like waiting for King Kong to appear in King Kong which he doesn’t for well over an hour into the movie. I think this quote doesn’t appear in the movie until about an hour and forty five minutes into the movie.

It seems like every other Oscar season needs a quote that defines the movie that’s going to win or is nominted for something. You’ve heard them before: the “show me money.” or the “I’m king of the world!” Your co-workers are going to riding that Brokeback’s quote into the ground for months possibly all that year. And from a movie that might even be threatening to them with its man on man gay theme, but that won’t stop them from saying it.

One thing I am enjoying is reading some of the backlash for this movie whether in news stories protesting it or the occasional letter to the editor in the local papers. I read one letter condemning it because it showed boys an alternative lifestyle. I have heard that argument before: the “let’s not talk about homosexuality because it is showing people that this is showing kids that it’s okay to be gay.” Which it is. I think people like this miss the point and quite possibly haven’t seen the movie. The movie doesn’t show the two guys making out and go, “hell, that was easy. Let’s be gay and watch sunsets in each others arms for the rest of our lives.” I think what the movie is saying is that love knows no gender, being in love with the same sex is not easy and it’s really not easy if you’re a cowboy in the sixties. There still is a stigma to being gay. People don’t automatically think being gay is the easier lifestyle or to quote David Cross, “the most decadent”. People are still harassed for being gay and sometimes even killed for being gay. I don’t think heterosexuals have to worry about being killed for having a couple kids and driving a minivan.

My wife and I went to the movie on a matinee which is good and bad. The good: it’s cheaper to go. The bad: old people go and they can be way worse than teenagers. I was kind of surprised to see a packed theatre of old people seeing a movie about gay cowboys considering how conservative Nebraska can be. I was also really surprised when the gay sex scene happened because it was kind of graphic (for a mainstream movie). It was pretty tame compared to other sex scenes you may have seen, but what really surprised me was that no one walked out. I was waiting for someone to do so, but no one did. We ran into a couple of woman in the elevator of the parking garage and one of them thought the sex scenes were too graphic. She might as well have said: “I get uncomfortable watching two guys make out and then have butt sex.”

Another reason I was glad to see this movie: Anne Hathaway was topless in this movie. I have this thing you see. I like to see nude female celebrities. I don’t know why. I just do. I am so glad I don’t have to feel bad about seeing the Princess Diaries anymore. I hope she was 18 then, but she definitely is now.

All in all. I really did like the movie. It was not your typical cowboy movie or your typical love story. I thought the message was pretty clear. Gay love is often not easy because of the world we live in and love between two gay cowboys is even harder. I just wish I could quit people from quoting, “I wish I could quit you.”